Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Where do Negative Feelings Originate?

How are opinions of self formed? What makes a child think about himself the way he does? Well, it all begins in the tender years of childhood. Most parents cannot stop with a plain “No” to a child when his behavior infringes on the rights of others. The typical parent feels that he must continue saying “No together with other words which is a bad thing to do. Sample of these words are: bad, slow, ugly, stupid, naughty, ridiculous, clumsy and thick will downgrade a child’s feelings of worth. Phrases such as, “You never do anything right, “I’m ashamed of you, or “What’s the matter with you? Are you stupid or something? The above statements will make a barrage of put-downs, along with non-verbal disrespect or emotional neglect, a child begins to grow up feeling ashamed of, and dissatisfied with, himself. The thoughts such as, “I’m no good or “I can never measure up to what my parents want from me” will begin to develop in his mind.
The origin of self-disrespect lies in childhood. Parents fail to render the support needed for feelings of adequacy to develop during the tender years. This has the potential of initiating a lifetime of self-castigation, self-recrimination self-unacceptability. Such feelings begin during the formative years and are nurtured by a performance-oriented society.


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