Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Nurturing Tolerance in Kids and Stopping Violence

Our children needs to be guided whenever and wherever they will go but there are instances in their life that they are the once to decide on what to do. Just like in choosing friends at school. They are the one who decide of whom they make friends at. That is why we need to have constant follow up with their daily activities because they might be involving themselves in some groups or gangs which will ruin their whole being. The question is how do we make sense of these vicious acts by children? Let’s start by looking at what these attacks have in common.

For example:

  • all are hate crimes
  • all involved middle-school-age students
  • all were motivated by a single media incident
  • all were organized on Facebook
  • all incidents involved “mobbing” ( a group of kids who encouraged each other.

All of these common causes of attacks may not be all present in the school where your child is schooling but most likely one of those really happened. If it is, then here is what to do. Below are five reasons to learn from the incident.

1. Limit or prohibit Facebook for tweens. Many middle school students are too young for Facebook.

Research already shows that cyberbullying and bullying peaks when kids are in their tween years, and peer pressure also peaks during these ages. When it comes to Facebook, don't be afraid to set clear limits -- or just say no!

2. Watch your child's media diet. Media does influence children. If you had any doubt, these incidents should be proof. Watch your children's media diet carefully. Put firm limits on what your family views on television and on the internet, and voice your concerns to anything objectionable.

3. Boost empathy and tolerance at younger ages. Tolerance is learned, and so is hate. One-time talks about empathy, respect and kindness don't cut it. These lessons must be woven into our children's daily lives by respectful, caring adults.

4. Talk to your children about these incidents and voice your objections. Don't be afraid to push your values. Voice your objections over and over. Be a model to your children because if you are strict in pushing your values but not in action then it’s a useless idea.

5. Hold kids accountable for cruelty. Hate as well as unkindness should never be tolerated. There is no excuse for cruelty. Ever!

Just keep in mind that children are not born hateful. Hate and intolerance are learned through the environment where they are in. It is the obligation of the parents and adults to nurture them with good values and examples.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Tips on How to Become An Optimistic Thinkers

Why should I bother? You know they won't choose me."
"What's the point? I'll never make the team."
"Why are you making me go? You know I won't have fun."
These are common statements for a pessimistic kids. It’s a reality that kids with pessimistic attitudes are among the most frustrated breeds. They easily give up, they believe that anything they do won’t make a difference and they usually assumes that they wont succeed. They rarely see the wonderful things in life. They dwell mostly on the negative and bad parts in themselves. So, as parents what we can do to make our kids change his pessimistic attitude turn into an optimistic attitude. Parents should learn how to empathize. Research shows that a large part of this attitude is learned along the way. And always keep in mind that kids are not born pessimistic. Below are helpful tips in order to help your kids become optimistic.
1. Eliminate the negatives you can. Start by doing what you can do: Cut the sources that might be exacerbating your kid's pessimism. Why not reduce the terrifying news on CNN; stop talking about the bad stuff on the front page; listen to your own negative talk and curb it; monitor the cynical musical lyrics your kid is hearing. So be more vigilant and turn off what you can control.
2. Look for the positive. Consciously stress a more optimistic outlook in your home so your child sees the good parts of life instead of just the down side. Share optimistic stories. Institute goodness reviews. Each night start a new ritual with your child of reviewing all the good parts about her day. Your child will go to sleep remembering the positives about life.
3. Confront pessimistic thinking. Don't let your child get trapped into "Stinkin' Thinkin'". Help him tune into his pessimistic thoughts and learn to confront them.
4. Balance pessimistic talk. One way to thwart your kid's pessimistic thinking is by providing a more balanced perspective. If you use the strategy enough, your child will use it herself.
5. Deal with mistakes optimistically. Pessimists often give up at the first sign of difficulty, not recognizing that mistakes are a fact of life. Stress that it's okay to make mistakes. Give kids permission to fail so they can take risks. Admit your mistakes. It helps when kids understand that mistake-making happens to everyone.
6. Encourage positive speculation. Help your child think through possible outcomes of any situation so he'll be more likely to have a realistic appraisal before making any decision--and less likely to utter a pessimistic one. Ask him "what if" kinds of questions to help him think about potential consequences. List pros and cons of any choice to help him weigh the positive and negative outcomes. Or name the worst thing that could happen if he followed through, so he can weigh if it's all that bad.
7. Acknowledge a positive attitude. Be alert for those times your child does utter optimism. If you're not looking for the behavior, you may well miss those moments when she's trying a new approach.
The world is really a wonderful and hopeful place to live in. We just need to take time to point out the goodness that our kids have, after all the habits that they learn will last for a lifetime. Just be sure that one of those habits is an optimistic thinking.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

What is a Retreat?

It’s a time to stop and rest so you can go on again. A time to return to basics: basic attitudes, basic beliefs, the basic balance of life. Above all, a retreat is a rest in God, in whom "we live and move and have our being." "Be still and know that I am God!" (Psalm 45,10) A retreat means not only to be physically quiet (we're so deluged by noise!), but to put aside cares and preoccupations. "Come aside and rest awhile," Jesus told his disciples. Otherwise you will get too tired and uncertain of your way. So pick a quiet time and place, if you can, and put what you are doing aside for awhile. Enter the room of your own heart, and listen.
We are so blessed to have our retreat held at Betania Retreat House located at the outskirts of Cagayan de Oro City. It is 8 kilometers from the city proper. It can be reached from the main highway through a winding road and is nestled on a hill with a panoramic view of green, lush mountains on one side and blue serene sea on the other side.
Our facilitator was Fr. Mike Pineda, SJ and I was thankful for the inputs he shared to us and gave more emphasis on deep prayer and how to pray to God wholeheartedly with the theme: Wonder, Worship and Witness.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Social Networking Conference 2010 will be Held in Manila

Social Networking Conference 2010

It is a fact that in this present generation everybody is hook in the internet more specifically on social networking sites. It has confirmed that social networking has greatly influence public opinions and decisions, linkages to corporate networks, individuals and businesses, and dissemination of information to target audiences and target markets.

Are you a member of facebook, twitter, friendster, yahoo, you tube, multiply, digg, myspace and many other? If not yet, then it is your chance to know and gain insights on how to maximize the use of social networks and become connected to the world. To know more about social networking, Fiera de Manila and the DigitalFilipino Club is organizing the Social Networking Conference 2010 which will be held on April 22 to 23 at Hotel Intercontinental, Makati City. The two day event will geared towards companies and digital marketing, advertising professionals and businessmen, entrepreneurs who are interested to use social networks for advertising, promoting, and marketing their products and services. They have invited brilliant and expert speakers who are practitioners in the field of social networking business. Part of the program is the awarding of winners of DigitalFilipino Social Networking Awards. Everyone is invited to attend this event especially the Social Networkers, Bloggers, Managing Directors, General Managers, Digital Strategist, CRM Managers, Direct Marketing Managers, Database Managers, Brand Managers, Category Managers, Product Managers, Advertising Managers, Corporate Communication Managers, Marketing Managers, Internet Marketers, Media Managers, Content Providers, Web Developers, and those involved in marketing/advertising using the internet and mobile.

Tips on How to Handle Child Stress

It is a real fact that stress and anxiety in children are a common problem in today's fast-paced, high-tech, activity-packed society. If you have a child who is experiencing stress and anxiety, try these simple but effective ways to alleviate anxiety in children.

1. Don’t dismiss her feelings. Telling your child not to worry about her fears may only make her feel like she’s doing something wrong by feeling anxious. Let her know it’s okay to feel bad about something, and encourage her to share her emotions and thoughts.

2. Listen. You know how enormously comforting it can be just to have someone listen when something’s bothering you. Do the same thing for your child. If he doesn’t feel like talking, let him know you are there for him. Just be by his side and remind him that you love him and support him.

3. Offer comfort and distraction. Try to do something she enjoys, like playing a favorite game or cuddling in your lap and having you read to her, just as you did when she was younger. Offer your tender loving care.
4. Get him outside. Exercise can boost mood, so get him moving. Even if it’s just for a walk around the block, fresh air and physical activity may be just what he needs to lift his spirits and give him a new perspective on things.

5. Stick to routines. Balance out any changes by trying to maintain as much of her regular routine as possible. Try to stick to her regular bedtime and mealtimes, if possible.

6. Keep your child healthy. Make sure he’s eating right and getting enough sleep.. If he feels good, he’ll be better equipped to work through whatever is bothering him.

7. Avoid over scheduling. Too many activities can easily lead to stress and anxiety in children. Just as grownups need some downtime after work and on weekends, children also need some quiet time alone to decompress.

8. Limit your child's exposure to upsetting news or stories. If your child sees or hears upsetting images or accounts of natural disasters such as earthquakes or tsunamis or sees disturbing accounts of violence or terrorism on the news, talk to your child about what's going on. Reassure her that she and the people she loves are not in danger.

9. Consult a counselor or your pediatrician. If you suspect that a change in the family such as a new sibling, a move, divorce, or a death of a family member is behind your child's stress and anxiety, seek advice from an expert such as your child's school counselor, your pediatrician, or a child therapist. They can suggest ways to help your child from stress.

10. Set a calm example. You can set the tone for how stress and anxiety in children and adults is handled in your house. You must also know how to handle stress in a peaceful way so you can help tone down your child.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter Sunday

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Wishing everyone a Happy and Blessed Easter Sunday!
Let's Celebrate! Jesus is Risen!

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