Monday, April 26, 2010

Tips on How to Become An Optimistic Thinkers

Why should I bother? You know they won't choose me."
"What's the point? I'll never make the team."
"Why are you making me go? You know I won't have fun."
These are common statements for a pessimistic kids. It’s a reality that kids with pessimistic attitudes are among the most frustrated breeds. They easily give up, they believe that anything they do won’t make a difference and they usually assumes that they wont succeed. They rarely see the wonderful things in life. They dwell mostly on the negative and bad parts in themselves. So, as parents what we can do to make our kids change his pessimistic attitude turn into an optimistic attitude. Parents should learn how to empathize. Research shows that a large part of this attitude is learned along the way. And always keep in mind that kids are not born pessimistic. Below are helpful tips in order to help your kids become optimistic.
1. Eliminate the negatives you can. Start by doing what you can do: Cut the sources that might be exacerbating your kid's pessimism. Why not reduce the terrifying news on CNN; stop talking about the bad stuff on the front page; listen to your own negative talk and curb it; monitor the cynical musical lyrics your kid is hearing. So be more vigilant and turn off what you can control.
2. Look for the positive. Consciously stress a more optimistic outlook in your home so your child sees the good parts of life instead of just the down side. Share optimistic stories. Institute goodness reviews. Each night start a new ritual with your child of reviewing all the good parts about her day. Your child will go to sleep remembering the positives about life.
3. Confront pessimistic thinking. Don't let your child get trapped into "Stinkin' Thinkin'". Help him tune into his pessimistic thoughts and learn to confront them.
4. Balance pessimistic talk. One way to thwart your kid's pessimistic thinking is by providing a more balanced perspective. If you use the strategy enough, your child will use it herself.
5. Deal with mistakes optimistically. Pessimists often give up at the first sign of difficulty, not recognizing that mistakes are a fact of life. Stress that it's okay to make mistakes. Give kids permission to fail so they can take risks. Admit your mistakes. It helps when kids understand that mistake-making happens to everyone.
6. Encourage positive speculation. Help your child think through possible outcomes of any situation so he'll be more likely to have a realistic appraisal before making any decision--and less likely to utter a pessimistic one. Ask him "what if" kinds of questions to help him think about potential consequences. List pros and cons of any choice to help him weigh the positive and negative outcomes. Or name the worst thing that could happen if he followed through, so he can weigh if it's all that bad.
7. Acknowledge a positive attitude. Be alert for those times your child does utter optimism. If you're not looking for the behavior, you may well miss those moments when she's trying a new approach.
The world is really a wonderful and hopeful place to live in. We just need to take time to point out the goodness that our kids have, after all the habits that they learn will last for a lifetime. Just be sure that one of those habits is an optimistic thinking.


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