Wednesday, August 25, 2010

How to Motivate a Child How to Write

I really find it hard motivating and teaching my kindergarten son to write. He seems not interested in writing. He will always say he doesn’t know every time I taught him on how to write the letters in the alphabet. But I am hoping that he will develop the soonest his interest in writing because writing comes naturally to children. That is why I did some researched on how to motivate children how to write which I hope will be applicable to my son.

1. Keep the pressure off – Give your child every opportunity to put pen to paper, chalk to sidewalk, paint to easel and marker to poster but make sure it’s all in fun. Preschoolers are just beginning to understand how words are used to convey thoughts and they are still developing the fine motor skills needed to form letters. As parents we need to encourage them in order for them to realize that writing is an activity with its own unique rewards.
2. Experiment with writing tools – Let him try the different types of writing tools like crayons, chalks, pens, pencils but be sure not on your wall. Remember that they are more at ease using fat pencils or crayons than skinny ones. Let him choose the writing tools which will make them comfortable while writing.
3. Experiment with surfaces – For beginners, try using white papers, big pads of newsprint will also do because children love to work in a big surface.
4. Model good writing habits – Be a model to your child. Let your child see you writing on a daily basis- like writing letters, to do list or keeping a journal. Always remember that children are big copycats. They will follow every movement that they see in you. So be enthusiastic so that children will get the chance to follow you.
5. Use the computer – If you have computer at home let your child compose words on the computer. Let her click the letters on the keyboard until she can form words or phrases that convey thoughts.
6. Be enthusiastic – Show interest and admiration to every output your child does even if it just looks not so good. Always say compliment words to every achievement he made. Saying like “You’re really learning how to write your name”. This will encourage your child to practice more and do better output next time.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Alternative Ways To Handle Child Dilemmas

Spanking is not really what parents want to do to their children but it happens because of most parents are desperate of the behavior of their children. But there are alternatives ways to handle this.

1. Be firm and be kind.
A child is more likely to hear what you're saying if you use a neutral tone.
2. Pause.
There's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm too angry to deal with this now. We'll talk about it later."
3. Teach your kids.
Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave.

4. Be positive.
Instead of saying, "How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?" Say, "Go brush your teeth and let me know when you’re done."
5. Give explanations, not threats.
By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she's told, you give her a reason to behave.
6. Refuse to get angry.
Instead of focusing on your child's misbehavior and working yourself into a lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.
7. Give incentives.
Inspire your child to cooperate by giving them incentives or rewards.

8. Be flexible.
If your little one asks, "Can I just finish watching this show before we go?" be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child's requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.

9. Drop out of power struggles.
Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. If he keeps on insisting or not cooperating for something which you don’t like, leave it to him to find a solution.
10. Be smart.
Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn't helping. If what you're doing isn't working, find a more helpful way to handle the problem. Remember! It's much easier to change your approach than to change your child. Always ask yourself, "What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?"

Remember these three important rules about punishment:

  • Don't assign a punishment when you're angry
  • Don't use punishment as revenge.
  • A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Symptoms of Rejection

Can parents tell if a child feels rejected? Yes. Fear of failure and criticism will dominate a child’s emotions. Accusation and reproach will cause him to justify his existence by creating arguments for his own defense. Such fear and uncertainty exhaust a child emotionally and drain him physically. Below are some of the signs and characteristics of a rejected child.
1. Lacks of decision-making ability.
a. Hesitates to make even minor decisions.
b. Fears to try new things even when help is offered.
c. When asked to do something says, “I don’t know how”
d. Will not ask for things he needs.
2. Withdrawal or retreat o fantasy
a. Does not easily participate with others in games or activities
b. Does not initiate contact with others
c. Does not defend self by words or actions
d. Is afraid to ask or answer questions
e. Only answers direct questions
f. Displays a cool or non-affectionate attitude
g. Spends an abnormal amount of time by self
h. Spends an abnormal amount of time watching television or reading
i. Prefers make-believe friends to real friends.
3. Repeated deliberate misbehavior
a. Bites, hits, kicks, etc. excessively
b. Habitually lies or steals
c. Hurts self or others
d. Seeks attention by doing something forbidden
e. Continually acts foolishly or disturbs others
f. Displays extreme competition with other children
4. Abnormal attempts to please
a. Constantly “gives” things to people in attempts to “buy” affection or friendship
b. Brings things from home to get teacher’s and friends’ approval
c. Constantly asks, “Do you like me?”
5. Habitual easy crying
a. Cries or pouts or creates a scene when doesn’t get own way
b. Complains “They don’t like me” or They won’t play with me”
c. Shows fear when being left with a babysitter, new person or teacher
6. Tension
a. Wets the bed
b. Bangs head
c. Bites nails
d. Stutters
e. Carries a blanket, comforter or same toy everywhere
7. Puts self and others down
a. Calls others like “baby” or stupid”
b. Is critical and judgmental of others
c. Blames others for own mistakes
d. Finds excuses for own behavior
e. Habitually tells tales
f. Says things like “I’m better that you are”
8. Physical characteristics
a. Is grossly overweight
b. Speaks in weak, uncertain voice
c. Is careless and sloppy in appearance
d. Has sagging posture
e. Has a sharply turned-down mouth and eyes that lack luster
f. Looks unhappy
g. Avoids meeting another’s direct gaze

Monday, August 2, 2010

Best Ways to get Your Child to stop from “Humming”

Kids hum for a variety of reasons. This can be to wear you down, to make you feel guilty, for reassurance and out of pure habit. Whatever the reason, humming is unattractive at best. It creates an atmosphere of nosiness inside the house and suddenly makes yourself upset and mad against your child because of continuous humming.
The word STOP, will help remind you how to respond rather than react to your child's humming:

S - slow down your reaction time. Don't answer complaints until you feel cool.

T - take responsibility for your end of the equation. Ask yourself, "What is it I am doing either positively or negatively that is causes your child's tendency to hum?"

O - one-liners should be prepared in advance. Statement like: "I will discuss this with you once you ask me without humming."

P - plan ahead. For instance, I have a tendency to give in because I feel guilty when I say no to my kids. To help me be firm, I remind myself that it's in my kids' best interest to hear the word no.

Humming can sometimes losses your patience but I would suggest to study the behavior of your child and once you know him well you can easily deal with it or ask him question like: "How can I help you stop humming?" Remember, habits are hard to break, and it will take creative planning, confidence in your little one's ability to make positive changes and time before any progress is made. To end humming is only part of the problem. At the same time we need to teach our kids more effective ways of communicating with us and with others.

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