Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Symptoms of Rejection

Can parents tell if a child feels rejected? Yes. Fear of failure and criticism will dominate a child’s emotions. Accusation and reproach will cause him to justify his existence by creating arguments for his own defense. Such fear and uncertainty exhaust a child emotionally and drain him physically. Below are some of the signs and characteristics of a rejected child.
1. Lacks of decision-making ability.
a. Hesitates to make even minor decisions.
b. Fears to try new things even when help is offered.
c. When asked to do something says, “I don’t know how”
d. Will not ask for things he needs.
2. Withdrawal or retreat o fantasy
a. Does not easily participate with others in games or activities
b. Does not initiate contact with others
c. Does not defend self by words or actions
d. Is afraid to ask or answer questions
e. Only answers direct questions
f. Displays a cool or non-affectionate attitude
g. Spends an abnormal amount of time by self
h. Spends an abnormal amount of time watching television or reading
i. Prefers make-believe friends to real friends.
3. Repeated deliberate misbehavior
a. Bites, hits, kicks, etc. excessively
b. Habitually lies or steals
c. Hurts self or others
d. Seeks attention by doing something forbidden
e. Continually acts foolishly or disturbs others
f. Displays extreme competition with other children
4. Abnormal attempts to please
a. Constantly “gives” things to people in attempts to “buy” affection or friendship
b. Brings things from home to get teacher’s and friends’ approval
c. Constantly asks, “Do you like me?”
5. Habitual easy crying
a. Cries or pouts or creates a scene when doesn’t get own way
b. Complains “They don’t like me” or They won’t play with me”
c. Shows fear when being left with a babysitter, new person or teacher
6. Tension
a. Wets the bed
b. Bangs head
c. Bites nails
d. Stutters
e. Carries a blanket, comforter or same toy everywhere
7. Puts self and others down
a. Calls others like “baby” or stupid”
b. Is critical and judgmental of others
c. Blames others for own mistakes
d. Finds excuses for own behavior
e. Habitually tells tales
f. Says things like “I’m better that you are”
8. Physical characteristics
a. Is grossly overweight
b. Speaks in weak, uncertain voice
c. Is careless and sloppy in appearance
d. Has sagging posture
e. Has a sharply turned-down mouth and eyes that lack luster
f. Looks unhappy
g. Avoids meeting another’s direct gaze


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