Thursday, February 25, 2010

Things to do to make your Child Listen to you

THE BEHAVIOR: As a parent, have you experienced about your child who doesn’t listen to you? You’re calling your son or daughter to get ready for bed and brushed her teeth but she just sits there pretending not to heat you. And she will just say “I will… later” but never gets it done unless you do it for her. And there are many instances like this that burst out your anger because they seemed not listening to what you are telling them to do.
Not listening is one of the top lists of things that drive parents crazy and angry. You have to count numbers to keep them aware that you are already angry to them. Sometimes it makes you impatient seeing them not following your instructions.

THE PROBLEM: Kids have learned that they don’t have to cooperate right away. Most of us parents start asking our kids to do something nicely and immediately and if they don’t act it we ask them for the second time using a louder and angry voice and then we escalate to threats them. Sometimes when begging, pleading and bribing fails, we usually flair up and get angry. We yell, shout, ramble and give punishments that are impossible to impose. “We then say “You cannot watch tv for one month”. “You will sleep at the living room if you don’t sleep in the afternoon”. Most kids like to feel powerful and like to see their mom and dad pitch a fit is worth the consequences. In addition, many of today’s parenting styles lead to adversarial relationship between parents and children.

THE SOLUTION: Parents should think of terms of teaching kids to listen instead of punishing them for ignoring you. There is a suggestion to parents, to teach their kids to listen using the ABCD techniques.
A- Ask in a no-kidding around tone of voice
B- Be clear and specific
C- Communicate your request in six words or less
D- Don’t make not listening an option

For example, if you ask the kids to get ready for bed and they tune you out, say, “Bedtime, please turn off the television”. Don’t leave the kids and hope that they will follow you as they are told but this what you are going to do. Stay with them until it’s done, you are the one to turn off the television and thank them for listening you. Don’t yell or threaten them. As parents, we should be creative or think on how to motivate kids to follow.

THE HINT: Be realistic. It will take time for kids to become better listeners and it may take time to learn to stay calm. For the meantime, try to look for small improvements and make sure you praise your child for listening up.


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