Things to do to make your Child Listen to you

THE BEHAVIOR: As a parent, have you experienced about your child who doesn’t listen to you? You’re calling your son or daughter to get ready for bed and brushed her teeth but she just sits there pretending not to heat you. And she will just say “I will… later” but never gets it done unless you do it for her. And there are many instances like this that burst out your anger because they seemed not listening to what you are telling them to do.
Not listening is one of the top lists of things that drive parents crazy and angry. You have to count numbers to keep them aware that you are already angry to them. Sometimes it makes you impatient seeing them not following your instructions.

THE PROBLEM: Kids have learned that they don’t have to cooperate right away. Most of us parents start asking our kids to do something nicely and immediately and if they don’t act it we ask them for the second time using a louder and angry voice and then we escalate to threats them. Sometimes when begging, pleading and bribing fails, we usually flair up and get angry. We yell, shout, ramble and give punishments that are impossible to impose. “We then say “You cannot watch tv for one month”. “You will sleep at the living room if you don’t sleep in the afternoon”. Most kids like to feel powerful and like to see their mom and dad pitch a fit is worth the consequences. In addition, many of today’s parenting styles lead to adversarial relationship between parents and children.

THE SOLUTION: Parents should think of terms of teaching kids to listen instead of punishing them for ignoring you. There is a suggestion to parents, to teach their kids to listen using the ABCD techniques.
A- Ask in a no-kidding around tone of voice
B- Be clear and specific
C- Communicate your request in six words or less
D- Don’t make not listening an option

For example, if you ask the kids to get ready for bed and they tune you out, say, “Bedtime, please turn off the television”. Don’t leave the kids and hope that they will follow you as they are told but this what you are going to do. Stay with them until it’s done, you are the one to turn off the television and thank them for listening you. Don’t yell or threaten them. As parents, we should be creative or think on how to motivate kids to follow.

THE HINT: Be realistic. It will take time for kids to become better listeners and it may take time to learn to stay calm. For the meantime, try to look for small improvements and make sure you praise your child for listening up.

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Positive Parenting - One Way to Stop Temper Tantrum

It is really hard to stop temper tantrum especially in the middle of screaming and crying but it can be done if a parent knows how to deal it in a positive way. There are several techniques to know on how to handle tantrum child using positive parenting.

1. Redirect the child’s attention to stop the tantrum. Children are easily to be distracted. If you can steer the attention of the child to another direction and help him focus his attention on something that will makes him happy, that will make him calm down his emotions.
2. Lift your child up or put him on your lap while whispering and touching his hair. Because by holding him, you are helping him to contain his emotions. Your calmness and your gentle touch will help him calm down.
3. Offer a small reward for having a good behavior. Most of the children respond well to positive reinforcement. Remind him that when he consistently behave he will get a reward.

As parent it is really important to know the techniques of calming down our child especially when they are upset. A parent should have a controlled emotions in order to adjust the behavior of the child.

How to Deal with Temper Tantrums

Actually temper tantrums are part of the development of the child. And no parent is exempted as there is no child immune to them. However, parent must have to pay attention and behave proactively in order to reduce or somehow eliminate them completely.

Parent should note the following tips on how to eliminate or how to handle a child having a temper tantrum.

1. Note when was the previous tantrums occur. Take note the location, time and determine the emotional state of the child when he had tantrums. Study the occurrence of the event when he has tantrums.
2. The next time when a tantrum begins, ask yourself if what the child is feeling during that moment, is he hungry or tired? Try to cool him down by giving something that he wants to until tantrums subside.
3. Monitor any loss of control. The child likes to feel as if he have some say or what to do in his life. For example if he wants to decide what to wear then let him be. It might be the beginning of tantrums if you go against him.
4. Help your children by communicating your plans for the day. If you want to him to do something new announce the changes 5-10 minutes ahead of time to allow them to adjust.
5. If the tantrum occurs in public place, stop and breathe for awhile. In a calm voice warn the child about what will happen if he continues what he is doing. If he continues his tantrum then impose the consequences.
6. Discuss to your child afterwards about his tantrum. Explain to him how you feel bad about it and what will be the effect to him to everyone who saw him. And that next time he should not do it again.
7. If tantrums happens at home, sometimes don’t mind him, let him expressed his feelings until he will be exhausted and tired and then he will stopped from crying or screaming.

Signs if the Child is Having Temper Tantrum

Temper tantrum is one of the problems that a parent should face alongside for having a child. Below are some of the typical examples of a temper tantrum.

Your child is having a temper tantrum if :

1. The child is throwing, pushing and kicking things as he can see and hold.
2. The child is crying or screaming about nothing at all and goes on and on.
3. The child is lying on the floor while kicking and rolling around the place.
4. The child is not listening to anything you say or do. Whatever you do or say has no impact to him and he continues to scream and kick.

If your child is experiencing all of these behaviors, then your child is most likely to have temper tantrum.