Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What Happen to Children with Too Strict Parents?

To be a parent is a very tough and hard job. It requires patience and understanding. It is a job that nobody can achieve to be perfect especially in terms of discipline. When parents practice child discipline that is too harsh, children can get the message of having no freedom. Some will feel that they have no control over their lives. Some children may question the arbitrary nature of their parents' rules and become distrustful of parents and other authority figures. Eventually, the child may not trust a mature adult enough to seek advice when they are grappling with important issues. In the toddler years this may not seem so important, but if years of heavy handed control prevent your teen from talking to you about sex, relationships or drugs, the consequences of his misguided actions at that point will be difficult to reverse. Strict child discipline can also exploit a child's emotional development if he is not permitted to make mistakes and learn from them. Keeping such a tight control on a child that he is never allowed to fail prevents him from experiencing life's natural consequences. Those consequences are responsible for him to grow mature over the years. That is why it is better for him to experience these consequences as a child than to deny him which could lead to extreme risk taking when he's older. In addition, parents who are too strict will present children a poor adult role model. This is especially true if the strict discipline comes from an adult who makes instant judgments, doesn't take the time to look at the big picture, desires instant gratification, has an inability to cope with anxiety or cannot control her own emotional reactivity. Children also need adult role models who offer a more balanced approach to problem solving and those adults should be able to do so in a calm and controlled manner.


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