Sunday, October 30, 2011

How To Handle Talking Back in Kids

One of the biggest problems of parents about child discipline is on how to handle with a child who is talking back to them. I think parents experienced this kind of problem. Back talk happens in almost any age at the most when the child started to say a word “No”. Well that’s a normal part of child development. But talking back can be triggered by a variety of causes. It happen when a child is trying to exert control over his own life such as what he wears, eats or does. Or it could be his way of testing his boundaries or simply be resentment from being hungry or tired. This behavior must be address effectively and immediately by parents and take necessary measures to stop it. As parents, it is our job to teach our kids how to express their wishes and opinions in a respectful and constructive manner.


1.      Get calm and stay calm. Set a good example of behavior to your child. How you respond to your child’s angry reply can set the tone for your interactions but when you show calmness in yourself and in control of yourself then your child will behave as you are.

2.      Don’t get into a war of words. If you want to control talking back in your child, do not feed the back talk beast. Because if you exchange words with your child then they are inadvertently saying that this is an acceptable way to handle conflict. Do not respond until you can speak in a calm and controlled manner.

3.      Remind yourself that this is a natural part of development. Talking back is something all kids do as they grow independently and assertively. It’s frustrating to know as this behavior maybe, but just remind yourself that your child is not talking back because you did something wrong or because they do not respect you.

4.      Keep track when back talk happens. Try to keep track or observe the time when your child talks back so that you can take necessary steps to change or eliminate those that triggers his behavior. Like for instance, is he irritable after school or after any activities or does he talks back when he doesn’t get enough sleep?

5.      Give and ask for respect. It’s a good thing that children are given the freedom to express their opinions about something and that parents should know how to listen to it. But be sure to emphasize that you will not listen to what they say unless they have to speak to you in a calm and respectful manner. That is why it is important for parents to balance understanding with a requirement for respect.

6.      Show your child that you are listening. Once both of you have calm down, give your child your full attention. Let him express his opinions in a respectful manner and you will have to listen, it does not mean that you agree all what he said but it will teach him that you respect his opinion.

7.            Look at what your child is watching. Watch out for TV shows they are watching. Many shows today depict children talking back to adults and often display sarcasm and sassy attitude.

Though it's really a frustrating and upsetting behavior, but you just have to keep in mind that your positive response will keep this behavior in control. The calmer you are, the more your child will learn to use positive ways to express his opinions too.


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