Steps to Do If Your Child is Bullied

If your child comes to you and open up his problem, you need to pay close attention to the problem. Remember “do not ignore it”. Too often parents feel that children need to “work things out” on their own or solve the problem on their own, which is not suppose to be that way. While your child does need to develop his social skills by doing things independently, but being victimized by a bully is not a social need one needs to learn. As parents it is our obligation to know what is going about especially when the problems reach to the highest level and it greatly affects the child. Since, if the problem is ignored, your child’s self-esteem will become unhealthy, thus he will be hurt mentally, emotionally and worst thing to happen is he could become a bully himself.
Here are five steps you can take if your child is having problems with a bully:

1. Believe what your child tells you. This is an important first step and will help your child trust that you are able to help him with his problem. Accept what he has to say by using your active listening skills.
2. Let your child know that he is not alone. Most children have to deal with some type of bullying behavior at one time or another. Reassure your child that he is not the problem. Nothing he did caused the bully to go after him.
3. If your child is being threatened in a physical or illegal way at school, report the problem. Your child may not want you to do this, or the school may not take it seriously, but violence cannot be tolerated. If you choose not to do anything, that is what you’re teaching your child. You will need to model assertive behavior by alerting those in charge where the bullying is taking place.
4. Teach your child assertive behavior and how to ignore routine teasing. Let them know it is okay to say ‘No.’ Sometimes even friends bully, so letting your child know they can be true to their own feelings and say ‘no’ can go a long way.
5. Encourage your child not to give in to a bully. Giving up possessions or giving into a bully in anyway encourages the bully to continue. Identify ways for your child to respond to a bully - showing assertive but not aggressive behavior - and role-play them.
6. If your child is not involved in social groups, help him find some that he will enjoy and encourage him to become involved. The more social skills your child has, the easier it will be for him to stand up for himself.
7. Children and teens who hang out in groups of 2 or more tend not to be picked on by bullies. Encourage friendships by allowing your teen to invite friends over or out for activities.

Signs That Your Child Is Being Bullied

As parents, we may never know at all times that there is something bothering our child unless he/she opens it. Most common problem of children especially at school is bullying. That is why it is important that we make it a point to know the difference and help. Always start with a conversation, ask your child what’s going on. Be alert on the following warning signs that a child is being bullied.

• Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings
• Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
• Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she spends time
• Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs)
• Takes a long, “illogical” route when walking to or from school
• Has lost interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school
• Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home
• Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments
• Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
• Experiences a loss of appetite
• Appears anxious and/or suffers from low self-esteem

Positive Reinforcement Vs. Bribery

According to Leah Ibañez-Yumul, an educator and child specialist, that some parents mistakenly associate positive reinforcement with bringing or giving material rewards. What is the difference between positive reinforcement vs. bribery? In bribery, you promise something bigger than the behavior you are expecting. You tend to negotiate or beg, or even trying to increase the value of the prize just to make it sure that the behavior you wish is being performed. In positive reinforcement, there are still rewards but in the form of verbal encouragement, small tokens or a reward given is commensurate to the positive behavior exhibited by the child. Material rewards need not be expensive; it can be their favorite cartoon character stickers, erasers and many other small things. Rewards can be also non-material, and it is highly recommended such as a hug, a wink, a kiss and a compliment for a job well done.

What is Your Parenting Discipline Style?

How do you discipline your child? What is your discipline style? Most parents admitted that they spank their child at least once for uncontrolled behavior. In behavioral studies, there are three approaches to bring out a desired behavior which can be found in parents’ discipline styles. These are the positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, and punishment.
Positive reinforcement entails by providing an evident like reward or praise which increases the possibility of the desired behavior being repeated. For negative reinforcement a desired behavior is drawn out through elimination of an adverse event. For example, the child learns to wake up early for school because getting caught from traffic makes him queasy. While for punishment, which often confused with negative reinforcement, involves an adverse event to decrease or stop a negative behavior. According to child experts, among the three discipline styles, positive reinforcement is the best way to draw out positive behavior in children and even keep negative behavior in check.

Happy Women's Day!

Each year around the world, International Women’s Day is celebrated every 8^th day of March. A lot of events are prepared throughout the whole month  to mark the economic, political and social achievements of women. This year is the 100^th year anniversary with the theme: “Equal Access to Education, Training, and Science and Technology: Pathway to Decent Work for Women”. 

Happy Women's  Day To All Women!

How To Motivate Your Baby to Read

Most parents wanted only the best for their children. They make it sure that they can provide all their needs. But there are few gifts you can give to your child than the love for reading. The love for reading is the best and most treasured gifts a parent could offer to their child at an early age. But how can we ignite their passion for reading.

1.      Talk and read to your baby from birth. It is believe that even if the child is still inside the womb of the mother he/she can already hear voices from outside. That is why it is important that during pregnancy a mother should talk or read books for her baby. When children hear words or sounds as often, they become familiar and are prepared for reading.

2.      Hold your baby on your lap. When babies feel happy and cared while you read, he/she will associate reading with good feeling.

3.      Let you baby hold the book. Let your baby explore what’s inside the book. Choose books that have textured such as pop-up books so they can feel.

4.      Choose rhyming books. It helps reinforce structure and rhythm of language and will aid in learning vocabulary. It is found that rhyming sounds are easy to remember that is why children can easily memorize and familiarize it.

5.      Reinforce and expand. When you child begins to speak few words, try to expound it by adding a descriptive words to it. This is to expand their vocabularies.

6.      Be a role model. Enjoyment is reading is contagious, when babies see their parents engaged in reading, they are also motivated to read. And it becomes their favorite hobby instead of playing computer or playing their toys.

7.      Keep books within reach. Keep your child’s reading materials within their reach so that they can have an easy access whenever they want to browse it.

8.      Make it fun. Don’t force or obliged your child to read which will make them think reading as a chore; rather enjoy your time reading by adding silly songs or playing word games.

How To Prevent Parental Burnout

Sometimes when things go beyond its limitations, it looses your patience towards the person especially in dealing with children, or shall we call parental burnout. The best way to deal with parental burnout is to try and avoid it at the same time. At first it maybe difficult but once you establish some healthy habits and parental limits, burnout is no longer a problem. Try to apply these simple tips to prevent parental burnout.

1. Take care of your body. Eat, sleep and exercise. These are the very important activity that you should follow. If your body is fatigued, you cannot be able to avoid from burning out and piling on stress no matter what you try.
2. Build a support system. Count on the people around you either your spouse, parents, helpers whom you can call and talk with. Give your trust to them that they will be there to help your need.
3. Learn to communicate with your teen. It is a good stress releasing if you have an open communications with your teen or anybody in the family. It lessens the burden that you feel at the moment.
4. Take some me-time on a regular basis. Set a schedule even though you don’t feel stressed as preventing it is your mean goal.
5. Mange your parental expectations and guilt. Nobody is perfect in this world, so do not expect that you can be everything to your kids and don’t expect him to be the same this might result to frustrations and failure. Then you’ll have to deal with guilt feeling.

These tips will take some period of time and need a lot of practice before it can be truly applied but the effort will pay off with calmer and happier days in the family. It will help build a healthy and loving relationship for each member of the family.