Raising a Child with Character

Time, Limits and Caring are the basic components for childcare. These are the important factors in raising responsible children. Being strict means not showing your love to them but molding them in order to become responsible and independent individuals.
It's impossible to raise children well unless we spend time with them. And spending simple time together has wonderful results. For example, my research shows that children in families that eat dinner together at least a few times per week tend to be less depressed, have less permissive attitudes toward sex, are less likely to use drugs, and are more likely to work to their intellectual potential in school. Caring is equally important—taking an active interest in our children's lives, being willing to listen to what's on their minds and participate in their activities.
For most parents, the trickiest part of TLC is setting limits for our kids. We believe setting limits-saying "no" for example—will destroy the closeness we have with our children and take all the fun out of parenting. But it is only by setting limits that we can help kids develop character and avoid some of the dangers of adolescence, including eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and underachievement.

The Importance of Limits
Each of us needs limits, whether it’s an adults or children. Yet some parents believe that setting limits is inconsistent with our desire to have a relationship with our child that is based on mutual respect. Trust and mutual respect are a crucial part of the parent-child relationship. You can try to discuss situations in which you and your child disagree. Explain to her the reasons why you should not agree of what he/she wants to. So when a child tries to get your okay to do something they're not ready for by saying, "Don't you trust me?" I recommend responding, "No, and I wouldn't have trusted myself at your age either. Part of my job as a parent is to protect you from risky situations." This may result to make him/her angry with your but your firmness also sends them the message that you care enough about them to hold the line, risk their displeasure, and create conflict and friction. They know it would be easier for you to give in. They are testing you.

Raising a Child with Character

Time, Limits and Caring are the basic components for childcare. These are the important factors in raising responsible children. Being strict means not showing your love to them but molding them in order to become responsible and independent individuals.
It's impossible to raise children well unless we spend time with them. And spending simple time together has wonderful results. For example, my research shows that children in families that eat dinner together at least a few times per week tend to be less depressed, have less permissive attitudes toward sex, are less likely to use drugs, and are more likely to work to their intellectual potential in school. Caring is equally important—taking an active interest in our children's lives, being willing to listen to what's on their minds and participate in their activities.
For most parents, the trickiest part of TLC is setting limits for our kids. We believe setting limits-saying "no" for example—will destroy the closeness we have with our children and take all the fun out of parenting. But it is only by setting limits that we can help kids develop character and avoid some of the dangers of adolescence, including eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and underachievement.

The Importance of Limits
Each of us needs limits, whether it’s an adults or children. Yet some parents believe that setting limits is inconsistent with our desire to have a relationship with our child that is based on mutual respect. Trust and mutual respect are a crucial part of the parent-child relationship. You can try to discuss situations in which you and your child disagree. Explain to her the reasons why you should not agree of what he/she wants to. So when a child tries to get your okay to do something they're not ready for by saying, "Don't you trust me?" I recommend responding, "No, and I wouldn't have trusted myself at your age either. Part of my job as a parent is to protect you from risky situations." This may result to make him/her angry with your but your firmness also sends them the message that you care enough about them to hold the line, risk their displeasure, and create conflict and friction. They know it would be easier for you to give in. They are testing you.

Family

I bumped into a stranger as he passed by,

"Oh, excuse me Please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
Wasn't even watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My daughter stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked her down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
She walked away, her little heart was broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake, that evening, in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to abuse.
Go look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers she brought for you.
She picked them herself: pink, yellow and blue.
She stood quietly not to spoil the surprise,
and you never saw the tears in her eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
and now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by her bed;
"Wake up, little girl, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
She smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Daughter, I'm sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
She said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said, "Daughter, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
Are you aware that:
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family - an unwise investment indeed.
So what is behind the story-poem?
Do you know what is the meaning of the word of family?
FAMILY = (F)ather (A)nd (M)other, (I) (L)ove (Y)ou!
FATHER AND MOTHER I LOVE YOU

Household Chores for Children

Its summer time and kids are very excited to get rested spent time playing, watching their favorite television shows. Although they are at their young age, parents can still delegate household chores to their children. Children could and should be involved in keeping a home in an orderly and organized manner. Even the youngest child household duties when parents assign age-appropriate chores. Below are some of the suggested household chores for prescribed age.
1. Preschoolers – Children at the age of 3 or 4 can be assigned small chores around the house which are simple and easy. Instruct him/her to fix her toys after playing. Tell them to put their dirty clothes into the hamper. Put the used plates in the sink, though they are not ready to do the washes but they can do scraping their plates into the garbage after eating. They can also do feeding their pets. Actually it depends on the parent on how they can make their preschoolers follow those simple chores.
2. For 5-6 year old – For the 5-6 year old children, they can already do sorting or folding their own washed clothes. They can already wipe the bathroom sink or dust the windows and furniture. They can also perform for the washing of dishes with your consent. Children of all ages actually like to be independent. They like to help around the house with a little motivation and encouragement from adults, especially when praises and rewards are offered for a job well done.
3. For 7-9 year old – at this age the child can already do a bigger task like setting the table for meals and then clean after eating. Keeping up their rooms neat and tidy. They can already assign to wash their own clothes and dishes.
4. For teenager children – Children at this age may be a little irritated when it comes to doing chores because they are already busy for something like texting, playing games in the computer or having fun with their friends. But with proper motivation and reward system, they will tend to do the job assign to them such as cleaning the house, doing light laundry, cleaning the refrigerator or cooked simple dishes for meals.

Tips on How to Explain Child Punishment

As parent we should understand that children are born not really knowing the difference between good and bad and what is right and wrong. It goes on how parents teach them on what is acceptable and what is not. This can be done by one on one talking to your child and if you impose punishment then you have to explain why you have punished him. Spanking or yelling the child will not get the child understands what he should be done instead. Below are some simple steps to guide parents on how to explain their child about his punishment.

1. Explain the punishment in simple terms especially for children under the age of 2. For example, if they are fighting with his older brother or other children. Tell him that you love him but what he is doing is wrong and it can hurt to others. Explain to your child in a soft and relax voice.
2. Talk to a preschool age child with facts. Normally you have certain rules in the house that they should follow. Once they disobey, make an agreement that if they broke the rule there is a corresponding consequences of it. Tell him how much you love them but there is a need to punish them because of not following the said rule.
3. Kindergarten and graders are group of children that needs to be aware of house rules. This is the age of children that needs reasons why they should be punish. Talk to him alone. Don’t embarrass him in front with other family members. Ask him why he disobeyed the rules. Give him time to explain his reasons behind and then remind him that he must take control of his actions or else he will be subject to punishment. Let him apologize to the person he hurt for.
4. You should be direct to your teens. They are capable of listening and processing everything you say to them. At this age they are already aware of the rules and the possible consequences of their actions. Express to your teens that you are disciplining him so that he will be a respectful, obedient and productive person. Don’t forget to remind him how much you love him. Don’t assume that he knows it. He needs to hear it especially when he received punishment.

Things to do to make your Child Listen to you

THE BEHAVIOR: As a parent, have you experienced about your child who doesn’t listen to you? You’re calling your son or daughter to get ready for bed and brushed her teeth but she just sits there pretending not to heat you. And she will just say “I will… later” but never gets it done unless you do it for her. And there are many instances like this that burst out your anger because they seemed not listening to what you are telling them to do.
Not listening is one of the top lists of things that drive parents crazy and angry. You have to count numbers to keep them aware that you are already angry to them. Sometimes it makes you impatient seeing them not following your instructions.

THE PROBLEM: Kids have learned that they don’t have to cooperate right away. Most of us parents start asking our kids to do something nicely and immediately and if they don’t act it we ask them for the second time using a louder and angry voice and then we escalate to threats them. Sometimes when begging, pleading and bribing fails, we usually flair up and get angry. We yell, shout, ramble and give punishments that are impossible to impose. “We then say “You cannot watch tv for one month”. “You will sleep at the living room if you don’t sleep in the afternoon”. Most kids like to feel powerful and like to see their mom and dad pitch a fit is worth the consequences. In addition, many of today’s parenting styles lead to adversarial relationship between parents and children.

THE SOLUTION: Parents should think of terms of teaching kids to listen instead of punishing them for ignoring you. There is a suggestion to parents, to teach their kids to listen using the ABCD techniques.
A- Ask in a no-kidding around tone of voice
B- Be clear and specific
C- Communicate your request in six words or less
D- Don’t make not listening an option

For example, if you ask the kids to get ready for bed and they tune you out, say, “Bedtime, please turn off the television”. Don’t leave the kids and hope that they will follow you as they are told but this what you are going to do. Stay with them until it’s done, you are the one to turn off the television and thank them for listening you. Don’t yell or threaten them. As parents, we should be creative or think on how to motivate kids to follow.

THE HINT: Be realistic. It will take time for kids to become better listeners and it may take time to learn to stay calm. For the meantime, try to look for small improvements and make sure you praise your child for listening up.

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